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I have had children in my child care program over the years who have been somewhat aggressive and domineering. What distinguishes a “bossy child” from a “bully”?
This is an interesting question because many children who bully do so through being bossy in the early years. Regardless, they both share a common element of disrespect or not being nice. Children need to know that being bossy or calling other kids names or taking things from them are all aspects of bullying.
- Aggression and Cooperation: Helping Young Children Develop Constructive Strategies
http://ceep.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/digests/1992/jewett92.html
Aggression is defined here as any intentional behavior that results in physical or mental injury to any person or animal, or in damage to or destruction of property. Aggressive actions can be accidental actions, in which there is no intentionality; instrumental actions, in which the child deliberately employs aggression in pursuit of a goal; or hostile actions, in which the child acts to cause harm to another person. - Teaching Kids Not to Bully
http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/bullies.html
Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways. - Children and Bullying: A Guide for Parents
http://www.montana.edu/wwwpb/pubs/mt200307.htmlEditor's Note: this url is no longer active.
Bullying is any kind of ongoing physical or verbal mistreatment where there is unequal power between two or more people, such as bigger children picking on smaller ones or bullying a child who is thought to be different.
What are some strategies that teachers can offer to young children so they can effectively resist bullying?
Young children have to resist being a victim or the bully. Teachers should create a bully-free environment, and the best way to do that is to intervene in all positive and not-so-positive peer interactions, helping the children practice their bullying resistance skills.
- Children and Bullying: A Guide for Parents
http://www.montana.edu/wwwpb/pubs/mt200307.htmlEditor's Note: this url is no longer active.
What can parents do to help bully-proof their children?
- Encourage friendships.
- Teach your children to express themselves clearly yet tactfully. Help your child use "I statements" (e.g., "I am upset because I feel that you are picking on me").
- Teach self-respect. A confident child is not likely to become the victim of a bully.
- Stress the importance of body language.
- Start teaching the art of negotiation early.
- Bullying Hurts Everyone
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/bullying.htm
Adults can help by teaching the child being bullied to remain calm and to say directly, “Stop that! I don’t like it!” Encourage the child to ask for adult help when needed.
Do children learn bullying behaviors from their family, their peers, the media, or elsewhere?
Bullying is thought to emerge from a wide range of influences. Put simply, some children have temperaments that might be described as fussy, or they may have a difficult time developing secure attachments to their parents. These children are at risk of becoming bullies or victims given certain environmental circumstances. If a young child witnesses violence at home, on the television, or through video games, the child is at greater risk of becoming a bully or victim. When these children start to join play groups and take on the role of aggressor, then their behavior becomes reinforced. Most effective programs (e.g., Steps to Respect,Second Step) include prevention and intervention strategies that teach individual children prosocial skills but also focus on changing the environments that foster bullying, especially the school climate.
- Children and Bullying: A Guide for Parents
http://www.montana.edu/wwwpb/pubs/mt200307.htmlEditor's Note: this url is no longer active.
Bullies often come from homes where physical punishment is used. Children are taught to fight back physically, and parental involvement and warmth are missing. They may come from homes where there are family financial and other problems. These children may be depressed or angry or upset about events at school or home. Bullying may also be modeled by other children; children often repeat the behaviors they witness. - Bullying
http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/bullying
Children and adolescents who bully thrive on controlling or dominating others. They have often been the victims of physical abuse or bullying themselves. Bullies may also be depressed, angry, or upset about events at school or at home.
Does bullying behavior in a preschool child tend to persist throughout childhood and into adult life?
Yes, bullying and other forms of aggressive behaviors are very stable over time, if there is no intervention.
- Children and Bullying: A Guide for Parents
http://www.montana.edu/wwwpb/pubs/mt200307.htmlEditor's Note: this url is no longer active.
Some children learn well how to control and manipulate others and begin to enjoy doing so. These actions may set a pattern for how children will behave as adults. - Effects of Bullying
http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp?area=effects
[Bullying] can lead to huge problems later in life. Children who bully are more likely to get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school. And 60% of boys who were bullies in middle school had at least one criminal conviction by the age of 24….
Have the rates of bullying in young children gone up in recent years? If so, do we know why (for example, increases in domestic violence, neighborhood violence, or violence in the media)?
The absolute rate has not increased, but we are seeing things in younger children than we had previously seen. That is, in the 15 years that I have studied bullying and other forms of youth aggression, the children have gotten younger and younger in their manifestation of these behaviors. The behaviors we saw in 5 th-graders, we are now seeing in preschool play groups. I think this is due in part to the introduction of technology to youth and their level of sophistication associated with their targeting each other.
- What Do We Know about Bullying?
http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/HHS_PSA/pdfs/SBN_Tip_9.pdf
Recent statistics show that although school violence has declined 4 percent during the past several years, the incidence of behaviors such as bullying has increased by 5 percent between 1999 and 2001….
- Early Cognitive Stimulation, Emotional Support, and Television Watching as Predictors of Subsequent Bullying among Grade-School Children
http://archpedi.ama-assn.org/cgi/reprint/159/4/384.pdf
The early home environment, including cognitive stimulation, emotional support, and exposure to television, has a significant impact on bullying in grade school.
Should a child who is physically attacking other children over toys, a place to sit, partners to have, turns to take, etc., be taken out of the classroom for safety reasons? Or should the teacher deal with the child inside the room while activities are still going on?
For safety reasons, and if the behavior is extreme, I would support taking the child out and dealing with the situation one-on-one. This child needs to be retrained and then slowly given the opportunity to behave differently in the class.
- Challenging Behavior
http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/pdfs/NC10.pdf
If Johnny is frequently and severely aggressive, he may need to be removed from the group each time he acts out. - Working with a Bully
http://betterkidcare.psu.edu/TIPS/Tips56.pdf
Take a stand against bullying. Don’t look the other way and think it’s just part of growing up. Get children to think about what they are saying and doing.
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