Live Interactive Chat
Answers to Questions (Transcript)
Director, Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning, University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign
See also: Biography and Related Resources
IELmoderator
Greetings, IEL Chat participants. Welcome to our IEL Chat on "Handling
Challenging Behaviors in Child Care: Aggression and Anger in Young
Children." To get started, let me introduce our guest speaker, Dr.
Mary Louise Hemmeter, Director of the Center on the Social and Emotional
Foundations for Early Learning, located at the University of Illinois
at Urbana-Champaign.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Hi, everyone. I am glad you are all here and hope that this will
be useful to you.
IELmoderator
The procedure for the live Chat session is as follows. Participants
can send questions to the Chat guest at any time. When you send
your question, please note that it will not be visible to all Chat
participants. The IEL Moderator receives the question first and
will post it to the whole Chat group. If there's a long queue of
questions, the Moderator will notify the questioner that the question
was received. Then, at the next break in the discussion, the question
will be posted for all to see and for our guest to answer.
Note that there will be a pause after a question is posted while Dr. Hemmeter composes her answer to the question. So please be patient! During these pauses, the Moderator will post occasional information about the IEL Web site. Because some Chat guests enter the Chat in the middle of the session, some of these messages may be posted more than once.
Questions will be posted in the order they're received, unless there's some obvious reason to group similar questions together. Participants may send follow-up questions. If your question is not answered by the time the Chat session ends at 8 pm, the question and its answer will be included in the Chat transcript that will be made available online approximately 3 weeks from today.
Now let's begin our Chat. Dr. Hemmeter, we have a question that we received in advance of the session.
What kinds of activities are effective in helping angry children to calm down?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
One thing you can do is use a "relaxation thermometer."
The thermometer is posted on a wall and has different colors in
the thermometer with red at the top and blue at the bottom. You
teach children to think about how they feel when they are mad, and
you explain that when they are mad they are in the "red zone"of
the thermometer and what they need to work on is getting to the
"blue zone." Talk to them about how they feel when they
are calm versus how they feel when they are angry. Once they understand
and can recognize the need to calm down, you teach them how to calm
down. Children can calm down in a variety of ways: a) taking three
deep breaths, b) going to a quiet area in the classroom, or c) talking
to a teacher. Children can help generate possible ways to "calm
down." You could do this with one child or with multiple children.
You would ask them to think about what they can do when they are
really mad. Once they have generated some things they can do, you
can make a poster or a book or some other visual reminder of the
things they can do when they are mad. The main thing is that you
have to teach these things!!
IELmoderator
Dr. Hemmeter, here's another question that we received by email
prior to the Chat:
I'm a Head Start teacher, and I have a question regarding a 4-year-old boy who is quite aggressive toward his 3-month-old baby brother. His parents have tried a few techniques without success. Do you have any suggestions for the boy and his brother? Thank you.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
My first suggestion is to figure out when and why he is being aggressive
to his brother. Often, it is because the child wants attention.
I would suggest finding ways to give the older child attention when
he is not being aggressive with his younger sibling.
Ellie
Is it my imagination, or are children more aggressive than they
used to be?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Ellie, I don't think we really have good data on that. However,
teachers and parents report higher frequencies of aggressive behavior.
soup
One thing that has worked is to establish a safe area away from
the group. This seems to give them the space.
Pete
How would you handle four boys who are best friends but agressive
toward each other? They always play with each other, and they are
not deterred by any sort of rewards or punishments.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
One idea is to develop a story about the two boys and to make a
short book that you read with them as a way of demonstrating how
you want them to behave.
mrekt
How can we help an angry child's friends understand the anger?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
It is important to teach emotions to all children in a class. You
can do this during a group activity and ask children to think of
things they can do when they get angry. You can also talk about
what makes children angry. That helps them to understand the other
child's anger.
IELmoderator
Tonight's Chat session is the second of 2003. The first Chat session
was on the topic of "Handling Challenging Behaviors in Child Care
and at Home: Autism."
The transcripts of the IEL Chat sessions from 2002 are archived on the IEL Web site. Go to the IEL Chat page at http://illinoisearlylearning.org/Chat.htm, then scroll down the page to the section called "Past Chat Sessions." For each Chat in that section, you'll see a link for "Chat transcript." Click on that link to view the transcript for that particular ChatEditor's note: This url has changed: http://illinoisearlylearning.org/askanexpert.htm#pastchat .
Note that the Chat transcripts are also available in Spanish. To find these transcripts (Trasuntos de Chateo), go to the Spanish Chat page at http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat-sp.htmEditor's note: This url has changed: http://illinoisearlylearning.org/askanexpert.htm#pastchat.
Pete
I feel the media has influenced our children to be more aggressive
and helped make aggression more socially acceptable.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Pete, there are lots of reasons why children seem to be more aggressive,
and the media may well be one of them.
Connie
I have a child in my day care who just goes from one bad behavior
to another. He would bite, then hit, and now he is bossing one of
the younger children all the time. What can I do?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Connie, why does he bite? What does he usually want when he bites?
Connie
He's not actually biting now. He did that when he was younger. Now
he bosses one of the younger children all the time, and just today
he kicked the child in the stomach. He was hitting a lot, but now
that is better. He still does it some, but the bossing is terrible.
I'm at my wits' end.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Connie, he clearly needs some help learning to express his emotions
in appropriate ways. You have to remember that you can't get rid
of a behavior that is working for a child without teaching him to
do something instead. I would suggest focusing on teaching him appropriate
behaviors to use instead of the inappropriate ones.
soup
I work in a day care center and have one child who can't handle
change. He is constantly needing to touch someone or something.
The touching isn't too bad, but lately he has moved to pinching
the other children. This is a 4-year-old boy. Do you have any suggestions
on helping him?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
soup, change is harder for some children than for others. It is
important to structure transitions for those children. You can do
that by giving them a buddy to transition with, showing them a picture
schedule of what is going to happen, or assigning an adult to help
them with the transition.
jpm
Thank you for spending time with us, Ms. Hemmeter. My question is
theoretical. Harry Stack Sullivan made a pretty good case for the
idea that anxiety/fear and anger are closely related. He even said
something about anger being one of the most common masking operations
for anxiety. My question, then, is do you find there's something
to that, and, if so, what are some good strategies for a teacher
to help a child "locate" and acknowledge his or her fears -- or
should a teacher be doing that?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
jpm, yes, I think there is something to that. However, we have to
do two things. One is to help them understand the emotions by teaching
them words to use when they are feeling different ways. But the
other issue is that if the fear, anxiety, or anger is being exhibited
through aggressive behaviors, you have to deal with the behavior
as well.
IELmoderator
As mentioned earlier, Dr. Hemmeter is the Director of the Center
on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL).
CSEFEL is a project designed to strengthen the capacity of Head
Start and child care programs to improve the social and emotional
outcomes of young children.
CSEFEL develops training and technical assistance (T/TA) materials that reflect evidence-based practices for promoting children's social and emotional development and for preventing challenging behaviors. For more information about CSEFEL and its products, please visit the Web site at http://www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel.
You can find additional resources on aggression and anger in young children in the supplement to this Chat session. This supplement is available on the IEL Web site at this URL: http://illinoisearlylearning.org/Chat/hemmeter/sup.htm.
Ellie
Children certainly see more examples of aggressive behavior these
days than even a few years ago -- TV, news, etc. But I often wonder
if the children in my classroom are acting out how they see their
parents act. In fact, I wonder if some of them are abused. Is there
any way to know whether a child is simply aggressive or is exhibiting
the same hitting behavior he or she is getting from a parent at
home?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Ellie, I don't know if we really know much about that. I would suggest
that we have to continue to help children talk about their feelings
and also provide them with the support they need to express those
feelings in an appropriate way.
mary
I teach preschool, 4- to 5-year-olds in a preschool setting. I have
a 5.2-year-old boy, an only child, who exhibits aggressive behavior
periodically but enough to disrupt the class. Some is attention
getting, but he does it with pinching, hitting, kicking, poking,
etc. He can be very nice and use his words to get what he wants
or needs, but when another child doesn't do what he wants or what
he thinks the other child ought to be doing, that's when the other
child gets hit with a block (like this morning).
Mary Louise Hemmeter
mary, I would suggest working with him on problem-solving skills.
Help him think of appropriate things he can do when he is feeling
angry. Then, prompt him to use those solutions in real contexts.
daisy
I am a teacher in a 2- and 3-year-old class in a day care. There
is a 2-year-old in my class who is aggressive toward me when I put
her in time out. She hits the other children for no reason. What
can I do?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
daisy, why are you putting her in time out?? What does that teach
her?
daisy
I put her in time out because I'm stopping her from hurting the
other children.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
daisy, my concern about time out is that it gets the child out of
the problem situation, but it does not teach the child what to do
in the future. Time out should only be used in conjunction with
proactive strategies that teach children more appropriate behaviors.
daisy
What else would you suggest?
IELmoderator
IEL Editor: Dr. Hemmeter's response to Daisy's question will be
added to this transcript during April.
IELmoderator
Remember that the IEL Web site is available not only in English
but also in Spanish. The Spanish home page is at http://illinoisearlylearning.org/index-sp.html
soup
Are there any suggestions on things for a child to squeeze or hold
to help from hurting other people?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
soup, I am not sure what you mean.
soup
Time out can be used in an effective manner. The key is to help
the child to know why he or she needs to be away from the group.
When I asked the previous question, I was thinking about the boy who needs to touch all the time. I was wondering whether it would help if he held some type of toy or ball or if something else would work.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
soup, that's a great idea to have him hold something. I would try
to identify things that are related to the activity rather than
having him hold something random. This keeps him from touching others
but also keeps him engaged in the activity.
IELmoderator
Here's a question we received prior to the Chat:
What kinds of early childhood settings are best suited for children who display a lot of anger and aggression: small family child care settings; larger, center-based settings; home-based settings; mixed-age settings; or same-age group settings?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
The key factor here is not the type of setting but the knowledge
and skills of the adults in that setting. Children need to be taught
how to express anger appropriately, and the adults need to have
a consistent strategy for addressing behaviors that occur when a
child gets angry. This can happen in any setting.
mrekt
Can some aggressive behaviors be attributed to personality types?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
mrekt, well, some personality types might be more likely to display
aggressive behaviors, but I don't think there are specific behaviors
they would be more likely to display.
ymca inf/todd
In the situation of a child (age 15 months) who continues to do
things that could cause harm to herself or to others -- we are trying
to follow procedure and give the child a "time out," but the child
does not seem to learn that she has done anything wrong and continues
to repeat the same offense. Is there another way that we can get
through to the child that she is causing trouble and could hurt
herself? We have said "Owwy" or "don't" (instead of "no") and still
the child smiles as if it is a game.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
ymca inf/todd, I am concerned about how useful time out is for a
child as young as 15 months. I am not sure cognitively that the
child will understand what you are doing.
IELmoderator
Remember that you may send a question at any time to the IEL staff.
Just email your question to iel@uiuc.edu,
or call us at (877) 275-3227 between 8 am and 12 pm or between 1
pm and 5 pm on business days.
kidscount
My son has similar behavior issues as the child in mary's question.
I have a degree in early childhood, but I am at my wits' end with
him. I am at this Chat at the recommendation of his pre-K teacher.
Any suggestions? He is 3-1/2!
Mary Louise Hemmeter
kidscount, I totally understand how frustrating this must be, and
I don't have a quick answer. I would first focus on giving him attention
when he is behaving appropriately. Sometimes we tend to leave children
alone when they are behaving appropriately because we don't want
to set them off. But that means they only get attention when they
are behaving inappropriately.
kidscount, the other thing is to focus on teaching him new skills that can replace the problem ones. This means you have to figure out how the inappropriate behaviors are working for him.
Ellie
I think I read on your Web site that you have developed inservice
training modules for child care on dealing with aggressive behavior.
Can you tell us a little about those training materials? Who are
they intended for? How are they supposed to be used? We have a significant
amount of turnover at my center. It seems like I just get the staff
trained and able to handle the children, and then they leave. It's
very discouraging.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Ellie, we developed a set of training modules to be used when training
teachers and other staff to address challenging behaviors. There
are modules on classroom preventive practices, social-emotional
teaching strategies, and intensive interventions.
mary
The parents of this 5-year-old seem very open to suggestions as
to how they can help. What's wrong? Why does he do this? They are
really looking for answers. I would like some suggestions for discussion
with the parents. We aren't diagnosing, but how do you bring up
the idea that perhaps some counseling or play therapy or looking
into this further might be appropriate?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
mary, the first thing is to ask the parents to collect some information
for you about the child's behavior at home and to talk about that
in relation to his behavior at school. That helps get buy-in from
the family, and then it is easier to talk about the more serious
issues.
jeanne
It is against Illinois DCFS to put a toddler in time out.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
jeanne, it is important to always check with your licensing requirements
before doing any type of procedure like this with young children.
IELmoderator
IEL has a series of Chat sessions scheduled through the middle of
June. You can view the Chat schedule on the Chat page: http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat.htm Editor's note: This url has changed:http://illinoisearlylearning.org/askanexpert.htm#pastchat.
The next scheduled Chat is Tuesday, March 11, from 7 to 8 pm Central
Time. The Chat topic is "Encouraging Literacy Development in Infants
and Toddlers." The guest speaker will be Marsha Glick, Resource
Specialist for STAR NET Region II.
ymca inf/todd
We understand that....What would be a useful alternative, then,
that would work with today's allowable discipline?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
ymca inf/todd, can you tell me a little about the 15-month-old's
behavior? I am having a hard time thinking about suggestions without
knowing more about the situation.
IELmoderator
IEL produces a series of Tip Sheets, short, informative pages on
topics of use to parents and caregivers in Illinois. You can visit
the Tip Sheets page on the IEL Web site: http://ecap.crc.uiuc.edu/cgi-bin/iel/searchiel.cgi?action=searchieltips.
Tip Sheets are also available in Spanish as "Paginas de Consejos."
One of the sections on the Tip Sheets page is "Social and Emotional Development," which is related to the topic of tonight's Chat. For example, you can find the following relevant Tip Sheets:
- He's Teasing Me!
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/teasing.htm - Helping Children Develop "Impulse Control"
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/impulsecontrol.htm - Don't Spank! Here's What You Can Do Instead!
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/spankingalternatives.htm
ymca inf/todd
Mary, please remember that "time outs" are currently the only form
of discipline that is available to us. During time out, we try to
talk to the child in reference to the offense. If a child bites,
we repeat to the child "owwy" and point to the bite mark that the
child caused. Then, we give the child a special bib to wear. However,
with the child in question, we don't seem to be reaching her. My
question is what type of discipline do you recommend to teach kids
to learn about rules?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
ymca inf/todd, there are lots of fun ways to teach children about
rules. The important thing is that it takes young children a long
time to understand rules. So, you have to teach them, comment on
them when children follow them, explain when children don't follow
them, and provide lots of opportunities for children to be successful
with the rules.
kidscount
We continue to do this, but he is really not showing much improvement.
When he reached age 2-1/2, I decided to put him in child care outside
of my home even though I do child care in my home. This helped for
a while, but it seemed to continue there as well. This year, he
started pre-K, and they have some problems with him as well. Do
you think there could be a bigger problem? We went to a behavioral
specialist in Iowa City, and they said he is headed in the direction
of ADHD, but they will not help until it affects his schooling.
I am not really buying this diagnosis.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
kidscount, this is a really frustrating situation for you but one
that is difficult for me to be very specific about in this short
time without knowing more about this child. However, I would really
like to offer some suggestions to you later. Please email iel@uiuc.edu,
and they will pass the message on to me.
IELmoderator
Chat participants, these are very good questions. Some of them require
a longer answer than Dr. Hemmeter can give in this Chat forum. In
that case, she will prepare a more extended answer later, and it
will be added to the Chat transcript later.
Connie
I thought time out was the right thing to do. That is what I've
always been told. What is the appropriate way for the child to display
anger? When I put him in time out, I do explain to him that he shouldn't
act like this and if there is a problem to come to me. He also talks
back to me, and I know there are problems at home with the parents,
but he disrupts the whole day care, and on days he is gone everyone
gets along great.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Connie, it is important to teach children that it is okay to be
angry -- because children will be angry -- but that they can't express
their anger in negative ways. Appropriate ways to express anger
are to talk to an adult about feeling angry, find a space to be
alone for a short period of time, or ask for help.
ymca inf/todd
jeanne, DCFS allows a child age 15 months can be put in time out
as a form of discipline, but only for 1 minute.
She is constantly taking toys from other children, then throwing toys, moving cribs (which have run over other children's fingers sometimes). She bites when children come too close. After each time, we try to let her know that this behavior is unacceptable. She will just smile a little smile and make it seem like it is a game.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
ymca inf/todd, I am new in the state and do not know the specific
licensing regulations. So, I can't comment on that.
IELmoderator
Each of the English Tip Sheets mentioned earlier is also available
in Spanish as follows:
- Se está burlando de mí!
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets-sp/teasing-sp.htm - Ayudar a los ninos desarrollar el control de impulsos
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets-sp/impulsecontrol-sp.htm - Nada de nalgadas! Lo que Ud. puede hacer en lugar de pegarle
al nino
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets-sp/spankingalternatives-sp.htm
mrekt
That "setting children off" when you comment on their "good behavior"
happens all of the time in my pre-K class. I often regret my comments
on good behavior because they seem to bring on the need for more
attention, bringing out poor behavior. Am I doing something wrong?
Mary LouiseHemmeter
mrekt, it is important to individualize the way you provide comments
about good behavior. Some children do not like to be singled out,
even if it is for positive things. Also, some children will respond
in negative ways to praise. So the trick is to find a way that you
can comment on positive behavior without setting off the child.
tlhr
We have a 5-year-old in a pre-K classroom who has been prescribed
adderal and he is still refusing to join large and small groups
most of the time. He hides under the tables and in other places
and has great difficulty with transition times, especially going
to the bus at the end of the day. Do you have any suggestions?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
tlhr, research on drug therapy suggests that it alone is not always
effective for dealing with the most challenging behaviors. It should
be paired with effective interventions for supporting children's
behavior.
soup
ymca inf/todd, why do you give them a bib, and what is special about
it?
ymca inf/todd
soup, it is a bitting bib with plastic tips. We are hoping it will
be an alternate choice for the child to bite on.
What type of discipline do you use in other states, then, that you use with children under 2 years?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
ymca inf/todd, children under age 2 are still learning about their
own behavior. At this age, you really have to focus on teaching
them and supporting their behavior. We don't have a lot of research
on effective discipline for infants and toddlers, and that is because
it isn't appropriate to their developmental status.
IELmoderator
Here's a question we got ahead of time. What kinds of guidance and
discipline techniques are most effective for children who display
a lot of anger and aggression -- both in helping prevent them from
becoming angry and aggressive and in responding to their anger and
aggression?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
I think the process that one uses is the most important thing to
talk about here. It is not possible to talk about a specific strategy
or technique without first understanding the situation. For example,
before I could answer this question, I would need to know the answers
to the following questions: What behaviors does the child exhibit
when he or she is angry? When do these behaviors occur? Under what
conditions do these behaviors occur? What has been done to teach
the child to use more appropriate behaviors to express his or her
anger? Does the child know what it means to be angry?
Another point I want to make is that anger is a feeling; aggressing is an action. These are very different things. Children may be aggressive for many reasons other than being angry. They may be excited or scared, or they may just want someone's attention.
IELmoderator
The ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education
(ERIC/EECE), the sponsor of this Chat session, also has some resources
relevant to the topic of tonight's Chat. These include several Digests,
which are short (2-page) summaries of a topic. For example:
- Helping Young Children Deal with Anger
http://ecap.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/digests/1997/marion97.html Editor's note: This url has changed: http://ceep.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/digests/1997/marion97.html - Easing the Teasing: How Parents Can Help Their Children
http://ecap.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/digests/1999/freed99.htmlEditor's note: This url has changed: http://ceep.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/digests/1999/freed99.html - Early Childhood Violence Prevention
http://ecap.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/digests/1998/massey98.htmlEditor's note: This url has changed: http://ceep.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/digests/1998/massey98.html
jpm
At what point does a teacher/caregiver/director say, "This child
needs more than we can offer"? Or should you ever do that? And what
is a good way to approach the parents about withdrawing the child?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
jpm, I have a hard time thinking of a situation in which you should
remove a young child from a setting. You should never get to the
point of needing to think about this without first having done a
great deal of work with the family to try to make the current setting
work. If you have truly partnered with the family to make the current
setting work and it is not working, then the parents will most likely
make a decision to go elsewhere.
IELmoderator
Here's a question and answer we had received and prepared ahead
of time:
Are there certain kinds of aggressive behavior that signal a need to solicit outside help from a specialist?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Any time there is behavior that can potentially hurt a child and
when the teachers or staff in that classroom don't know what to
do about those behaviors, I would solicit outside help.
tlhr
Our teachers have tried several reward systems, such as being a
helper each day (which he likes), but he participates, does his
job, and then hides most of the day. They have also tried a punch
card system of rewards so he can earn small toys at the end of a
day. So rewards for staying in the group have been tried. Anything
else you might suggest?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
tlhr, what behaviors are you concerned about for this child?
tlhr
This child hides in and under furniture, he yells, and at times
he hits other children. He also acts like an animal (including making
the noises it makes). He will not walk in a safe manner to the bathroom
down the hall. Many times, teachers have to take him by himself
because he refuses to walk with the other children, lies down in
the hallway, and refuses to get up, yelling some phrase over and
over.
Lori
What else can we do for a child with ADD who is very aggressive
toward other day care children?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Lori, for children with the most significantly challenging behaviors,
it is important to get a team of people working with the classroom
staff or family. These situations are really stressful to teachers,
and they need a great deal of support.
Lori, I am not sure what type of setting you are in so I don't know what resources you might have available. For example, do you have a mental health consultant or social worker available?
Lori
We have a school social worker and a school therapist
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Lori, often a team of people can figure out what to do in a situation
better than one or two individuals. There is a process called positive
behavior supports that has been very effective with young children.
It is too complicated to describe here, but if you will email iel@uiuc.edu,
I will see that you get some information about related resources.
mrekt
How can I handle a 4-year-old who spends her day bossing the other
children, all the time just enforcing the classroom rules? She knows
her stuff!
Mary Louise Hemmeter
mrekt, that is funny!! And it is tricky. Is it really a problem?
If it is, the best thing you can do is try to find something she
enjoys doing more than bossing other children around.
PP
So many questions tonight relate to guidance and discipline for
infants and toddlers. Participants should be sure to mark the IEL
Chat scheduled on "Best Practices in Infant and Toddler Care" scheduled
for June (I believe).
NOTE from IEL editor: This Chat is
"Best Practices for Infant and Toddler Care"
with Debbie Trouth, Associate Director of the Child Development
Laboratory at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Date: June 19, 2003
Time: 7 to 8 pm Central Time
Information is available on the Chat page at http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat.htmEditor's note: This url has changed:http://illinoisearlylearning.org/askanexpert.htm#pastchat.
Nancy
I have seen a young child whose family is undergoing major stress,
such as a divorce or job loss, become unusually angry and aggressive.
How can a preschool teacher help?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Nancy, you may not be able to do anything about what is causing
the child to be angry or aggressive. The best thing you can do is
to acknowledge the issues with the child and provide him or her
with the support he or she needs to be successful, secure, and comfortable
in the classroom. This will likely help his or her behaviors somewhat,
and that should be the first step.
IELmoderator
Thanks to all the Chat participants for your interesting
questions and for your patience. Please join us for IEL's next Chat.
This Chat is scheduled for Tuesday, March 11, from 7 to 8 pm Central Time. The Chat topic is "Encouraging Literacy Development in Infants and Toddlers." The guest speaker will be Marsha Glick, Resource Specialist for STAR NET Region II.
Thank you, Mary Louise Hemmeter, for sharing your knowledge and your time with us this evening. Thanks again to all of tonight's Chat participants, and have a good evening.
Additional Questions That Were Not Answered during the Chat Session
Question
Parents of non-aggressive children can become concerned when another
child displays highly aggressive behavior. What are some steps that
teachers and caregivers can take to allay the concerns of these
parents?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Have a clearly designed plan for addressing the aggressive
behavior. Communicate this plan with all parents.
Question
What are some factors that contribute to children's anger and aggression?
Have these factors changed in recent years?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
There are many factors that can contribute to a child's anger and
aggression that are both internal and external to the child. I don't
know if these things have really changed over time. The important
thing is that children learn what anger is and how to communicate
it in an appropriate way. It is important that we teach children
that it is okay to be angry and that we teach them appropriate ways
to express that anger. We may not be able to do anything about the
things that are causing the child to be angry, but we can teach
the child to express that anger in appropriate ways.
Question
What are some resources (human, print, and Web-based resources)
that teachers and caregivers can access to provide support and assistance
for them when caring for children who show a lot of anger and aggression?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
IEL Editor: Dr. Hemmeter's reponse to this question will be posted
in this transcript during April.
Question
What are some tips for helping other young children handle being
in the same space as an unusually aggressive child?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
We need to teach children to get help when they see a potentially
dangerous situation. In addition, we need to teach all children
in a classroom how to express their anger and how to help others
when they are having trouble. I really believe that a big piece
of addressing aggressive behaviors in classrooms is teaching all
children about sharing, helping others, and caring about your peers.
Question
When, if ever, do you think it reasonable for a program administrator
to decide to exclude a young child from the program because of aggressive
or violent behavior? (This does not mean a temporary measure such
as "time out" or an "in-school suspension,"
but rather asking parents to withdraw the child.)
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Quite frankly, I have a hard time thinking of any situation in which
a YOUNG child should be excluded from a program. Remember that early
childhood programs should be about teaching children. We need to
teach children more appropriate ways of communicating their needs,
emotions, and feelings. While challenging behavior might indicate
that a child is angry or scared or jealous, the solution is to teach
them to express those emotions in an appropriate way. I do not see
how we are helping a child if we choose to exclude him or her from
a program.
Question
Many children in Head Start and similar programs have been reported
to hit and kick the adults -- teachers as well as their own parents.
What are the best strategies for handling these kinds of behaviors?
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Again, one has to determine why and when the child is hitting and
kicking and determine what skills the child has for communicating
those feelings or needs in a more appropriate way. We cannot "get
rid of an inappropriate behavior" without teaching the child
a more appropriate behavior.
Doug
Dr. Hemmeter, I was in the Chat on anger/aggression in toddlers
and would like more info on the positive behavior supports. I am
a single dad. My 4.5-year-old is in pre-K at a private Christian
academy. He knows what he is doing is wrong and will get him in
trouble but continues to do it anyway. Home is mostly the same.
We are going through a major change. The woman that I have been
seeing for 4 years has decided that work is most important to her
right now and has cut off almost all communication. She has been
the closest thing to a mother he has known. His biological mother
lives in the same town as us but rarely sees him, but she tries
to at least talk to him on the phone. He has recently been suspended
from pre-K because of his continued disruptive behavior. Thank you
for any help you can provide.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Hi Doug. It sounds like you and your son are going through a very
difficult time. While your child may need some help dealing with
the emotional stressors in your life, you can also be addressing
the behavioral aspects of the situation at the same time. Positive
behavior supports is a comprehensive approach to children's challenging
behaviors and requires a team approach. One thing I would recommend
is that you get in touch with your public school system. I certainly
respect that you have chosen to enroll your child in a private school,
but you still have the right to request an evaluation from the public
schools. If they determine that your child could benefit from some
type of special services, then you might have to reconsider your
child's school placement. As part of that evaluation, I would request
a functional behavioral assessment. While positive behavior supports
is an effective approach to dealing with challenging behavior, it
requires a team of professionals and family members working together.
Kim
Thank you so much for any help you can offer. I am completely exhausted
in my efforts. My son began showing uncontrollable behavior at about
age 1. This has continued for the last two years, so I blamed it
on the fact that he was here with me all day and with the other
children coming into our home because I run a home day care. After
talking to several of my colleagues and almost going insane, as
well as nearly losing clients because of his behavior, I decided
to enroll him in another home day care. The behaviors have not even
slowed down. He does everything -- biting, spitting, arguing, hitting,
kicking -- you name it, he's done it. Everyday it is something new.
Just today, after he got home from the other day care -- we always
give him a stick of gum if he has had a fairly good day at day care.
Well, this has never been an issue and has worked great up to this
point. Then today, he purposefully puts the gum in another girl's
hair. He is also enrolled in pre-K, and they too have trouble with
him. At the suggestion of his day care provider, we went to a behavioral
specialist in Iowa City looking for help. They came to the conclusion
that he is headed toward the direction of ADHD, but they will not
help until it affects his schooling. Oh, I forgot to mention he
still wakes up four-plus times a night. We had his adenoids removed
because the ENT thought he might have sleep apnea causing him to
wake up, which would make him irritable during the day. Wrong. He
still gets up. We put him to bed at 9:00, and most nights he is
still awake at 11:30. Then, after he finally gets to sleep, he still
wakes up about four times. Then, in the am, he gets up between 5:30
and 6:30. Iowa City wants to perform a sleep study on him, but I
am not sure I want them to because they were no help last time.
Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated. We are researching
every avenue.
Mary Louise Hemmeter
Clearly the sleep issue is a key factor here. We know that children
who don't get enough sleep are likely to have challenging behavior.
In terms of how to deal with the challenging behavior, I would recommend
that you talk to the teachers at his prek program about having an
evaluation conducted. If he is in a public school prek program,
then the school can give you the information about how to request
an evaluation. If he is not in a public school program, you can
still contact your local school system and request an evaluation.
An important component of that assessment would also be to have
a functional behavioral assessment conducted with him. This looks
at his behavior in context and looks at all of the setting factors
that might affect his behavior. The result is usually a plan that
is called a positive behavior support plan. I can give you more
information about any of this if you need further assistance.
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