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September 9, 2003

Using Words and Emotions to Avoid Two's Commotions

Deb Medlyn
Head Teacher, Child Development Laboratory, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

Contents

• Web Resources
• ERIC Database: Selected Records

This live Chat will center on ways to encourage positive social-emotional interactions. The age of 2 is the best time, in my opinion, to promote negotiation skills that can positively impact how a child solves problems in social conflicts. Two-year-olds model everything we do. They love to repeat everything we say. They do not, however, have the same moral development as older children or adults; therefore, they do not have a mature understanding of empathy. But if we model caring for others, we will begin to see this behavior in the 2-year-old. That is, if we model and encourage sympathy, kindness, giving, acceptance, sharing, and politeness, we will see more of this behavior in our 2-year-olds' social interactions. We must also cue into children's play to be there to label and identify prosocial and antisocial behavior. Our role is to give the child a "feelings" perspective. We put feelings into words and encourage children to verbally express those feelings. By using victim-centered guidance, alternatives to aggressive behaviors, and expressions of words, we promote healthy negotiation skills and emotional expression. Even 2-year-olds who do not yet talk can benefit from other's interpreting from the 2-year-old's cues and stating the 2-year-old's feelings.

Children learn from communicative partners who create good adult-child relationships. We can further promote social-emotional development through planned activities and parent awareness. Emotion activities can be at group time, as well as developmental activities at free choice time. Parents can be informed about how to promote social-emotional development through bulletin boards, hand-outs, newsletters, and children's books. The more opportunities a 2-year-old has to express his feelings, the less we will see of aggressive 2-year-old behavior, and the 2-year-old will be on the way to healthier social-emotional development.

Want to learn more about this important topic? Here are some great resources on "Using Words and Emotions to Avoid Two's Commotions!"

Web Resources

• Allowing Children Choices
  Letting a toddler have choices helps develop self-control, judgment, initiative, and cooperation.
  http://www.tnpc.com/parentalk/toddlers/todd16.html
• Terrible Two's: Helpful Hints
  Parents can talk to a child in ways that may help control a toddler's unwanted behavior and temper tantrums.
  http://www.tnpc.com/parentalk/toddlers/todd29.html
• Understanding Children: Temper Tantrums
  This parent resource helps parents understand the causes of temper tantrums and ways to plan ahead to help prevent them.
  http://www.extension.iastate.edu/Publications/PM1529J.pdf
• Understanding Children: Disciplining Your Toddler
  Disciplining a toddler isn't easy, but understanding the reasons for the behavior and keeping your goals for your toddler's development in mind can help.
  http://www.extension.iastate.edu/Publications/PM1529C.pdf
• How Behavior Changes in Toddlers Ages 18 Months to 2.5 Years
  The toddler years can be challenging as toddlers change and grow more independent. These tips can help you make this time more rewarding.
  http://www.extension.umn.edu/info-u/families/BE620.html
• Ages and Stages: Two-Year-Olds
  Child care providers can find information on typical 2-year-old development as well as suggestions for working with a group of 2-year-olds.
  http://www.nncc.org/Child.Dev/ages.stages.2y.html
• Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning
  This 5-year project is designed to strengthen the capacity of Head Start and child care programs to improve the social and emotional outcomes of young children. Training modules and What Works Briefs can be found on this Web site.
  http://www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel/

ERIC Database: Selected Records

To search the ERIC database for resources on this topic, use this search strategy: descriptor "toddlers." Combine with descriptors "emotional development" or "social development." Also, use "temper tantrums" as an identifier.

How to Obtain ERIC Documents and Journal Articles:

References identified with an ED (ERIC document)or EJ (ERIC journal) are cited in the ERIC database. ERIC Documents (citations identified by an ED number) may be available in full text from ERIC at no cost at the ERIC Web site: http://www.eric.ed.gov. Journal articles are available from the original journal, interlibrary loan services, or article reproduction clearinghouses.

If you would like to conduct your own free ERIC database searches via the Internet, go directly to http://www.eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/Home.portal?_nfpb=true&_pageLabel=advanced

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• ERIC Document No.: ED390535
  The Emotional Life of the Toddler
  Author: Lieberman, Alicia F
  Publication Date: 1993
  Availability: Free Press, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020
  Abstract: Noting that parenting a toddler can be both exhilarating and frustrating, this book draws on lifelong research into children's emotional development to provide parents with a better understanding of toddlers' emotional range and how it affects toddler behavior.
• ERIC Document No.: ED321872
  Social-Emotional Growth and Socialization. Infant/Toddler Caregiving: A Guide
  Author: Lally, J. Ronald, Ed.
  Publication Date: 1990
  Availability: Bureau of Publications, Sales Unit, California Department of Education, P.O. Box 271, Sacramento, CA 95802-0271
  Abstract: Rich in practical guidelines and suggestions and intended for use with videos illustrating key concepts and caregiving techniques, this guide was written to help caregivers with their day-to-day efforts to nurture social and emotional growth in infants and toddlers. Section 4 contains examples of appropriate and inappropriate caregiving behavior in the areas of social-emotional growth and socialization.
• ERIC Document No.: ED393543
  Character Development: Encouraging Self-Esteem & Self-Discipline in Infants, Toddlers, and Two-Year-Olds
  Author: Greenberg, Polly
  Publication Date: 1993
  Availability: National Association for the Education of Young Children, 1509 16th Street, N.W., Washington, DC 20036-1426
  Abstract: The essays in this book delve into realistic ways in which child care providers can move from providing inadequate or merely adequate day care to providing high-quality center-based or family child care. Chapter 8 discusses toddlers' increasing social and emotional organization. Chapter 11 deals with discipline, and chapter 12 lists and describes 96 behaviors, characteristics, and achievements of optimally developing toddlers.
• ERIC Document No.: ED356066
  Helping Children Develop Socially and Emotionally
  Author: Gilkerson, Deanna
  Publication Date: July 1992
  Availability: EDRS Price MF01/PC02 Plus Postage.
  Abstract: Designed to help family home care providers address the needs of children at various developmental stages, this manual provides practical suggestions for encouraging and evaluating children's social and emotional development. The manual is divided into four sections focusing respectively on infants, toddlers, preschool children, and school-age children.
• ERIC Document No.: ED354103
  Touchpoints: Your Child's Emotional and Behavioral Development
  Author: Brazelton, T. Berry
  Publication Date: 1992
  Availability: Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, One Jacob Way, Reading, MA 01867-3999
  Abstract: This book looks at children's early development through what are called "touchpoints": times just before a surge of rapid motor, cognitive, or emotional development when, for a short time, children regress in several areas and become difficult to understand.
• ERIC Document No.: ED341488
  Aggressive Behavior in the Pre-Verbal Child (Paper presented at the annual meeting of the National Association for the Education of Young Children)
  Author: Robinson, Georgia
  Publication Date: November 1991
  Available from: EDRS Price MF01/PC01 Plus Postage.
  Abstract: Directors, teachers, parents, and mental health professionals in child care centers were interviewed about aggressive behavior of preverbal children to determine the caregivers' level of understanding about children's emotional development. An eight-point plan is suggested for centers to use when confronted with aggressive behavior.
• ERIC Journal No.: EJ578034
  Dealing with Screaming. Caring for the Little Ones
  Author: Miller, Karen
  Source: Child Care Information Exchange, n124 p35,37 Nov-Dec 1998
  Publication Date: 1998
  Abstract: Several strategies are available for dealing with screamers; the most important approach is respecting the child by acknowledging the emotions behind the scream and helping the child deal with the situation at hand.
• ERIC Journal No.: EJ501920
  Temper Tantrums: A Developmental Perspective from a Clinical Psychologist
  Author: Proffer, Andrew A.
  Source: Day Care & Early Education, v22 n3 p16-19 Spr 1995
  Publication Date: 1995
  Abstract: Addresses questions such as why children have temper tantrums, how teachers and parents should respond to a demanding child, and how behavioral outbursts can be used to help children deal constructively with powerful emotions. Distinguishes between normal and severe tantrums, and conceptualizes and suggests intervention techniques.
• ERIC Journal No.: EJ447671
  Understanding Tears and Tantrums
  Author: Solter, Aletha
  Source: Young Children, v47 n4 p64-68 May 1992
  Publication Date: 1992
  Abstract: Proposes an accepting attitude toward all crying in young children. Notes that crying has been found to be an important and beneficial physiological process that helps children cope with stress.
• ERIC Journal No.: EJ513983
  Adult-Child Relationships in Early Childhood Programs. Research in Review
  Authors: Elicker, James; Fortner-Wood, Cheryl
  Source: Young Children, v51 n1 p69-78 Nov 1995
  Publication Date: 1995
  Abstract: Explores the impact of sensitive caregiver relationships on a child's emotional, social, and cognitive development. Includes suggestions for emphasizing such relationships in early childhood programs, including planning routines and activities that focus on relationships.
• ERIC Document No.: ED466322
  The Child: What Every Caring Parent Needs To Know
  Author: Perry, Desmond
  Publication Date: 2001
  Availability: MECA-Seton Montessori Teacher Education Program, 5728 Virginia Street, Clarendon Hills, IL 60514.
  Abstract: Written from the perspective of a Montessori preschool director, teacher educator, and father, this book presents basic information on child development from the prenatal period through the school years, highlighted by stories of child development in different cultures. Part 1 focuses on the "explosions and transformations" during pregnancy, infancy, and toddlerhood, including discussion of the sensitive periods described by Maria Montessori.
• ERIC Document No.: ED433945
  Me, Myself and I: How Children Build Their Sense of Self. 18 to 36 Months
  Author: Pruett, Kyle D
  Publication Date: 1999
  Availability: Goddard Press, 380 Madison Avenue, New York, NY 10017
  Abstract: This book provides practical help for parents to enhance their toddler's growth and development. Chapter 4, "'Me Do!'," focuses on the roots of autonomy, self-reliance, self-regard, and the difficulties 2-year-olds present for parents.

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