Live Interactive Chat

Answers to Questions (Transcript)

July 30, 2002

Getting Ready for Preschool

Jill Moore
Early Learning, Champaign, IL

See also: Biography and Related Resources

IELmoderator
Greetings, IEL Chat participants. Welcome to our IEL Chat on "Getting Ready for Preschool." To get started, let me introduce our guest speaker, Jill Moore of Early Learning in Champaign, Illinois.

Jill Moore
Glad to be here tonight! What questions do you have?

IELmoderator
The procedure for the live Chat session is as follows. Participants can send questions to the Chat guest at any time. When you send your question, please note that it will not be visible to all Chat participants. The IEL Moderator receives the question first and will post it to the whole Chat group. If there's a long queue of questions, the Moderator will notify the questioner that the question was received. Then, at the next break in the discussion, the question will be posted for all to see and for our guest to answer.

Note that there will be a pause after a question is posted while Ms. Moore composes her answer to the question. During these pauses, the Moderator will post occasional information about the IEL Web site.

Questions will be posted in the order they're received, unless there's some obvious reason to group similar questions together. Participants may send follow-up questions. If your question is not answered by the time the Chat session ends at 8 pm, the question and its answer will be included in the Chat transcript that will be made available online approximately 3 weeks from today.

After all that procedural information, let me remind Chat participants that you can find the text of the recently completed Illinois Early Learning standards on the IEL Web site at this URL: http://illinoisearlylearning.org/standards/index.htm.

The standards relate to the learning areas of (1) Language Arts, (2) Mathematics, (3) Science, (4) Social Science, (5) Physical Development and Health, (6) Fine Arts, (7) Foreign Languages, and (8) Social/Emotional Development.

Now let's begin our Chat. Ms. Moore, we have a question that we received in advance of the session: How are preschools and child care centers different from when I was preschool age?

Jill Moore
Today, about half of U.S. children are attending a child care program or are in care in a center or in a family day care home by the age of 12 months. A child's entry into care and programs outside the home takes place from 6 weeks of age to 5 years of age. Centers are larger and more professionally staffed on the whole. More child care centers are owned by companies and corporations for on-site child care.

IELmoderator
Ms. Moore, here's our next question: What are some issues involved in helping children adjust to a new program?

Jill Moore
The methods of helping a child adjust to a program or preschool should correspond with the age, developmental level, and background of the child. An increasing number of children enter preschools and child care from international families, and the children hear two or more languages in their homes. Special attention needs to be paid to helping children become comfortable in group settings when they are just beginning to learn English and may be experiencing culture shock as well as anxiety about separation from their parents.

IELmoderator
You can find more information on Getting Ready for Preschool on a resource page on the IEL Web site. This page is available at http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat/moore/sup.htm.

IELmoderator
Ms. Moore, here's our next question: How can I prepare myself as a parent for my child to enter preschool or child care?

Jill Moore
To help your child prepare, begin by preparing yourself as a parent who has confidence in your child's ability to function in a group and to become more independent and enjoy himself/herself in the new program. A parent who speaks very positively about his or her child's upcoming experience in a new program is more likely to have a child who is successful in making a break from the parent than one whose parent expresses doubts and guilt at leaving the child. Be very positive about the setting when visiting before the child will stay by himself.

preston
Ms. Moore, what can I do as my child visits and prepares to stay without me?

Jill Moore
Preston, follow the teacher or caregiver or director's requests about how to conduct the orientation visit and when to leave your child. Many caregivers have experienced the separation process many times and can give you advice about how to make the break once the child has become comfortable in the setting. Cooperate and support the caregiver/teacher by bringing items that they request, such as extra clothes, diapers, sunscreen, a family photo, or a familiar object for security.

Supply all requested telephone numbers and other medical and personal data about how your child is likely to adapt to the new situation. Label your child's jackets and extra clothing so that the teacher has to spend less time searching for clothing. The teacher can then spend her time more meaningfully directly with your child instead of searching for needed items and information. If your child separates more easily from one parent than from another, plan for the parent whom the child separates from more easily to take the child to start the day.

Sue
Are there children's books a parent could share with a child to help prepare for that first day of preschool?

IELmoderator
Sue, although it's related to kindergarten instead of preschool, we recently uploaded a list of "Books to Share with Children Who Are Getting Ready for Kindergarten" on the IEL Web site. This list is available at http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat/helm/sup2.htm.

Jill Moore
I would suggest the book My First Day at Preschool by Edwina Riddle. This book may be out of print at this time, but you will be able to find other similar books at a library or bookstore. I also have a large supply of this title at my child care program in a Parent Lending Library. We loan these books to parents to take home for a few weeks prior to beginning to attend the program.

IELmoderator
Remember that the IEL Web site is available not only in English but also in Spanish. The Spanish home page is at http://illinoisearlylearning.org/index-sp.htm.

preston
Ms. Moore, Is there anything I can teach my child before she starts preschool or child care?

Jill Moore
To prepare your child, talk with her, read to her, listen to her, help her understand her world. If your family is beginning to learn English, teach your child a few English words dealing with drinking water, eating, and going to the bathroom.

Encourage and support prosocial behaviors by participating in a play group, visiting a park, or inviting children to meet, and supervise their play to help them understand the give and take of sharing. Discourage aggression and rough physical play. Encourage your child to try basic tasks at home like feeding himself, hand washing, cleaning up after himself. Use a family member or familiar babysitter to help your child get used to being independent of you for a short time. She will gain confidence that you will return for her. Small steps.

IELmoderator
Remember that you may send a question at any time to the IEL staff. Just email your question to iel@uiuc.edu or call us at (877) 275-3227 between 8-12 and 1-5 on business days.

Sue
If a child resists going to preschool after several tries, should a parent wait until she's older to start her in school or try a different school?

Jill Moore
Sue, I would suggest giving the preschool experience a week or two before making a decision. Within a couple of weeks, most children are fairly comfortable in this setting, but talk to the teacher, caregiver, or director about their best guess as to what your child's issue is. Does your child have other major life changes going on in her life such as a new sibling, a death in the family, divorce/separation, or health problems that might complicate matters?

bec
As a day care provider, what can I do to help ease parents' feelings about having to be away from their child?

Jill Moore
bec, get to know the parents by talking with them. Let them get to know you so that they have more confidence in you. Solicit their opinions and suggestions and involve them in any other ways you can. Let them know that this is a very normal feeling and try to reassure them. You might take photos during the day showing that their child is, indeed, having fun! Suggest that they may call during the day to speak with their child.

IELmoderator
The IEL staff give workshops and presentations throughout the state. If you're interested in attending such a workshop, please see the schedule of workshops on IEL's "Workshop and Exhibit Schedule" page at http://illinoisearlylearning.org/workshops.htm or contact the IEL staff if you'd like to arrange for a workshop in your area.

IELmoderator
Ms. Moore, here's our next question: What should I consider before deciding whether to put my infant into child care?

Jill Moore
Look for a loving and responsive caregiver who talks easily with babies throughout the day, including during routines such as diapering and feeding. The caregiver should hug, hold, rock, and play with the baby. She should individualize and coordinate routines of naps, feeding, and toilet training for toddler-age children with you, the parent. There should be a clean, safe, interesting environment for your child. Talk with the caregiver to see if you share the same goals for your child in terms of toys, play, stimulation, food provided, and guidance. Ask about teacher turnover or how long the family child care provider plans to continue caring for children. The caregiver should find ways to expand on children's interests.

There should be opportunities to explore indoors and outdoors. Look for a small group size of no more than four babies per caregiver in a group setting. The maximum group size should not be over 8 with two caregivers. Look for continuity during the day and over time; optimally, the fewer caregivers the better. Are health precautions taken such as excluding infants and adults for contagious illnesses? Are toys washed frequently and when needed? Are the caregiver and environment inviting enough that you would like to spend time there?

kamala
Ms. Moore, what is a good age to start preschool or child care?

Jill Moore
Kamala, When you start a young infant in a program or home away from you, that routine becomes normal to the infant. By the time he or she experiences stranger anxiety and separation anxiety, your infant will be used to the caregiver and the effect of those developmental stages should be minimized. Children vary widely in their sense of autonomy or independence. Starting to separate from parents at the age of a few months through approximately 2 years appears to be difficult, especially if your child has never been away from you before.

IELmoderator
Please note that this Chat session is being transcribed. The transcription of the session will be made available in both English and Spanish approximately 3 weeks from now. Please watch the Chat page on the IEL Web site for the transcript. That page is at http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat.htm Editor's note: This url has changed:http://illinoisearlylearning.org/askanexpert.htm#pastchat.

IELmoderator
Ms. Moore, here's our next question: What are some examples of difficulties children have that are fairly typical once they begin preschool or child care?

Jill Moore
Look for signs of stress such as rigid body language, a lack of verbal communication if your child is talking, interruption of sleep or eating patterns at home. Nightmares may signal stress temporarily. At the program, ask whether your child appears comfortable, cries for long periods of time, smiles, rests, talks, plays, and seems to enjoy the activities or appears to be under stress for more than a week or two.

IELmoderator
Ms. Moore, here's another question: What are some indicators that a child just isn't ready to start preschool or child care?

Jill Moore
If your child cries at length or shows signs of stress more than a week or two after you have done the preparation steps above, talk to his or her caregiver about what to try next. Often when a child has more than the average amount of stress during adjustment, there are other complicating factors in his or her life. Some examples might be a new baby in the family, a recent divorce or death in the family, being put into foster care, having just moved to a new house, a lengthy visit from grandparents who have left the child, needing to learn a new language, getting used to American food, needing to feed himself, needing to learn to share with other children, and being around a group of people all day long.

International families may have different child-rearing practices which make U.S. family and center practices more difficult to adjust to, such as if the child sleeps in the same bed with parents, if parents hand feed the child past toddlerhood, if parents encourage early or late weaning or toilet training earlier than most U.S. caregivers would.

Sue
Does very early child care interfere with parent-child bonding?

Jill Moore
Sue, I don't know if I feel qualified to answer that particular question, but I don't think it should.

IELmoderator
An IEL Tip Sheet (Página de Consejo) in Spanish was recently uploaded to the Web site. This Tip Sheet, "La preparación para el kindergarten," is available at http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets-sp/readykindergarten-sp.htm. The English version, "Getting Ready for Kindergarten," is available at http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/readykindergarten.htm.

kamala
How do you bring shy children into the group?

Jill Moore
Kamala, we ask parents how the child is used to being treated by the parents and other family members--whether they tend to attach to only one family member or will go to anyone, whether the parent sees the child as outgoing or shy, and anything else the parent might wish to add to help us get to know the child faster. We might enlist another child to become a "special friend" of the shy child and help show him the ropes. Try to have some of the shy child's favorite activities available and then give it time.

IELmoderator
The transcripts of the two previous IEL Live Chat sessions are currently being prepared. The transcript from the Chat Session of June 17, 2002, on the topic of "Father/Male Involvement in Early Childhood" with Brent A. McBride will be available soon. Please check the Chat page on the Web site: http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat.htm Editor's note: This url has changed:http://illinoisearlylearning.org/askanexpert.htm#pastchat.

IELmoderator
Ms. Moore, here is another question: If my child has a lot of difficulty adjusting to a program or family home, what should I do?

Jill Moore
Sometimes a home visit helps, where the child can get to know the teacher or caregiver better. Sometimes two children in the group can visit each other so that they each know another child better. Sometimes a prop can help a child feel attached to his or her parents, like a toy wristwatch that can be pointed to when the caregiver talks about when the parent will return. A family photo to hold can help or a mother's purse or dad's briefcase.

If your child has some of the complicating factors, is there anything you the parent can do at home to ease the adjustment? For example, the child's mother or father has been very stressed and busy lately and has not spent much time with the child. Can that parent try to spend individual time with the child? Perhaps you may need to go back to the visiting stage where you stay with your child at the program or home. It is suggested that you spend time together before the child would expect to go home with you, not in the beginning or middle of her day. Talk to your child's teacher or caregiver about what she recommends. If nothing seems to help, you may jointly decide to wait for your child to start preschool or child care until he or she is older.

IELmoderator
Note that there is an ERIC Digest on "Working with Shy or Withdrawn Students" published by the ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education. This Digest is available at http://ecap.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/digests/1996/brop-s96.htmlEditor's note: This url has changed:.http://ceep.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/digests/1996/brop-s96.html

kamala
What if my child doesn't understand English well. What should I do about preschool?

Jill Moore
Kamala, I would suggest a longer visiting period to allow your child to overcome culture shock and language shock. Not only will she not understand what Americans say, but American teachers and children will look different, smell different, and eat different foods. When you visit with your child, translate what the teachers say. Explain to your child the daily routine. Help her notice what is happening and, above all, act positive!

IELmoderator
The transcript from the Chat Session of July 15, 2002, on the topic of "Getting Ready for Kindergarten" with LaDonna Helm will also be available soon. Please check the Chat page on the Web site: http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat.htmEditor's note: This url has changed:http://illinoisearlylearning.org/askanexpert.htm#pastchat.

kamala
What if I want to stay home, does my child really need preschool?

Jill Moore
Kamala, your child can gain social skills, learning skills, language skills, motor skills, and many other things in a good preschool environment. If you really want to be at home, you might try starting a play group to invite other children to play with your child in a small group setting. Only you can decide if you want your child to go to preschool.

IELmoderator
Remember that this Chat session is being transcribed. The transcription of the session will be made available in both English and Spanish approximately 3 weeks from now. Please watch the Chat page on the IEL Web site for the transcript. That page is at http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat.htmEditor's note: This url has changed: http://illinoisearlylearning.org/askanexpert.htm#pastchat.

IELmoderator
As we have no more questions in the queue, we'll bring tonight's Chat session to a close. Thanks, Jill Moore, for being here tonight.

Jill Moore
Thank you for having me here. I have enjoyed sharing my thoughts with you!

IELmoderator
Thanks to all the Chat participants for your interesting questions and for your patience. Please join us for IEL's next Chat. This Chat is not yet scheduled but will occur sometime in September. Check the Web page for more details. Thank you, Jill Moore, for sharing your knowledge and your time with us this evening. Thanks again to all of tonight's Chat participants and have a good evening.

kamala
Ms. Moore, thanks very much for your help and for generously sharing your time.

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