Manners and Preschoolers

Would you like to give your child tools that will help them find the world a friendlier place? Try encouraging good manners! Using good manners is a way to show respect for the feelings of others and to make personal interactions pleasant.

How can I teach my child to be polite?

Set a good example. If your child hears you saying “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me,” they will learn how to use these words. Be consistent. Using manners should become routine.
Teach in specific and positive ways. Remind your child to use their indoor voice instead of telling them to stop yelling. Show your child how to greet a visitor politely.
Provide gentle reminders, or practice at home. You can make a game of greeting one another or saying “after you.” A child may find it funny when their Daddy greets them with a handshake and says, “Good morning, Harper,” but this practice can make a good impression on the child. Practicing manners at dinner with the family can help your child prepare to eat meals or snacks away from home.
Help your child understand what is expected in social situations. Sometimes children are honest, but tactless. It takes time for a child to learn which words and actions are polite and which ones may insult or hurt others. Firm and friendly explanations from you can help.
Be tolerant of mistakes. Children will get excited and interrupt, or they sometimes become shy and avoid speaking to an unfamiliar person. If you need to correct a child, do it in private to avoid making them or others feel uncomfortable.

How can I discourage bad manners?

Avoid pressuring your child, particularly if they are upset. A forced apology may cause resentment without making the person harmed feel any better. It is usually better to discuss the incident with them later.
Be aware of what your child sees and hears. Many television programs and movies treat rudeness as funny or clever. Media can influence children even when they don’t seem to be paying attention to the screen.
Seek help when needed. A child who is consistently rude to others may be signaling for help. A lack of social acceptance can harm a child’s ability to succeed in school and find happiness in life. You may want to discuss persistent insensitivity to the feelings of others with a counselor or child psychologist.

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