Tattling Behavior In Preschool 

Sometimes young children engage with their teachers by tattling about other children’s behaviors. Young children may be especially concerned about following classroom rules. When a young child observes another child break a rule, they may feel that the teacher should know about it. Young children may be confused about the difference between tattling and telling. Educators can help them understand the differences.  

Differences Between Tattling and Telling

• Tattling is reporting a peer’s wrongdoing when the situation is safe, and the child observing it can handle it on their own or ignore it. 
• Telling is alerting adults that a situation is not safe and/or the child needs help managing it. 

Adults Provide Guidance About Tattling vs. Telling

Early care and education staff can intentionally teach young children the difference between tattling and telling by providing concrete examples of when it is necessary to tell an adult about an unsafe situation and when tattling about a situation is unnecessary. 

Young children will require repetition to learn the differences between telling and tattling. The following strategies may be useful for teaching these concepts at school: 

• During circle time, use role play to demonstrate typical child to child interactions. During the role play, teach words, phrases, and strategies for problem solving situations.  
• Create a classroom book with photos of the children and short phrases about what to do or say if problems arise during classroom situations. Keep the book available in the literacy center for children to freely access. 
• Together with the children, agree on a non-verbal signal to remind children that they can handle a classroom problem with a peer without tattling. 
• Try a strategy called reframing by putting a positive spin on a situation. This may be useful if a child consistently receives adult attention through tattling. It may help the child who tattles to see a way to positively interact with peers. For example, Kendi tattles to her teacher that Marta did not clean up her structure in the block area. The teacher reframes the tattling behavior by complimenting Kendi’s helping nature. “Kendi, you noticed that Marta needs some help cleaning up her blocks. I know that as her friend, you would be a good helper.” 

Use the class website, communication app, newsletters, and conference to share information and strategies with families to support them with tattling behavior at home. As young children grow, they will learn new social and emotional skills to help them problem solve situations with their peers. Start that awareness during the preschool years when children first encounter classroom rules and expectations.  

IEL Resource 

• Resource List: Helping Young Children Resolve Conflicts