Building Independent Skills in Young Children

As children learn and grow, they become more independent. This toolkit provides tips for educators and family members to build independent skills in young children.  

Personal Care Tasks and Independence 

Part of growing up includes learning to care for yourself. Personal care tasks for young children can include toileting, washing hands, toothbrushing, and putting on clothing. These tasks are often completed faster when a caregiver does them for the child. However, toddlers and preschoolers need more time and teaching as they learn to complete these personal care tasks on their own.  

Becoming more independent starts with teaching children skills. Children often learn by watching adults and peers and by practicing those skills on their own. For example, toothbrushing often begins with an adult demonstrating how to brush their own teeth. Next, the adult provides physical assistance and verbal or visual directions to the child.  Finally, the child practices brushing all on their own. Learn more about promoting healthy dental habits in our tip sheet: Dental Health for Babies and Young Children. 

Handwashing can also be a good place to begin with independent skills. Fortunately, young children love to interact with water. There are many times to practice handwashing; before eating, after using the bathroom, when returning from the playground or outdoor playtime, and after playing with a pet. Children can first learn to scrub their hands under water, then learn to dry hands with a paper towel. Later you can teach children to take only one squirt of soap. Learn more about handwashing in our tip sheet: Fight Germs! Wash Your Hands! Parents can get additional tips about building personal care and independent skills at home with toddlers in this NAEYC article: Growing Independence: Tips for Parents of Toddlers and Twos. 

Chores and Independence

Completing chores at home or in the classroom is developmentally appropriate for young children as young as toddlers. Even a two-year-old can bring their plate to sink to clear the table or wipe up spills on the floor. 

There are many classroom jobs that young children can learn to keep the classroom neat and clean, like tidying the book corner, dusting the shelves, organizing the block area, and sweeping the floor. In The Cleaning Project, a group of toddlers learned about cleaning tools and how to clean their classroom with the help of the Project Approach. Toddlers often need more support and supervision when doing these tasks. Teamwork is an important part of children completing chores and classroom jobs alongside adults. 

Preschoolers feel responsible and useful at home and at school, when doing simple chores like unloading utensils from the dishwasher, clearing the table, watering plants, and making their bed. Read more about teaching children how to do simple chores in our tip sheet: Real Work: Preschoolers Can Help. Young children with disabilities may need more support to complete small tasks. Learn about chores and children with disabilities in our blog: Chores and Children: A Time to Learn. 

Independence in the Community

While out in the community, there are many opportunities to practice being independent. Restaurants, local playgrounds or parks, and museums are great locations to practice these independent skills. 

Even young preschoolers can learn to select and order food at a restaurant. Family members can explain the menu to the child with only a few options. For example, “Here at the restaurant, you could have a cheese sandwich or chicken with rice. Which would you like?” When the child makes their selection, you can coach them to give their order to the server. Get some ideas for restaurant independent skills in Dining Away from Home with Young Children.  

Learning to respond to questions from other adults and play appropriately with peers are also important independent skills to learn. Encourage children to play with others at the park or playground. The parent or caregiver can step in to help if needed. Read more about parents’ roles in allowing independence skills to blossom in our tip sheet: Freedom to Grow. 

Encouraging Independence

Sometimes learning to be more independent includes learning to ask for help. Teaching a child the sign or word for ‘help’ can aid in reducing a child’s frustration with a tricky independence task.  Other times, simply having an adult nearby may give a young child the confidence to do tasks on their own. 

Adults can help children try their best when practicing and improving on independent tasks. Giving positive feedback like, “Wow, you are putting that leg in your pants so well!” can help children continue to try to complete the task, rather than giving up. The IEL tip sheet Encouraging Words offers more suggestions. Learn more about persistence and building independence skills in our blog: Try and Try Again.  

Cultural Differences and Independence

The meaning and importance of independent skills can vary from culture to culture. Some families’ practices may be different than teachers’ expectations. For example, in some cultures, adults feed children with a spoon or fork into their preschool years; this difference would be noticeable in a classroom that encouraged young children to use spoons and forks on their own.  

Teachers should learn about the cultures and traditions of the families in their care and can be flexible in what they expect for child-level independence. Early childhood programs can partner with families and embrace multiple family cultures. Learn more in the NAEYC article Culturally Appropriate Positive Guidance with Young Children. 

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