Fuss Management: Planning Ahead to Prevent Tantrums

There’s no sure cure for young children’s public tantrums. But some simple steps can reduce the chances that your toddler or preschooler will lose their temper when you run errands together.

Go on practice outings and errands with your child.

• Have pretend outings at home to help your child know what you expect of them. Play riding the bus, getting groceries, or having a check-up.
• Go on short, simple outings as practice for longer trips. Introduce basic ideas: “Look, don’t touch.” “Stay next to me.” “Notice what’s around us.” Such practice trips can be especially helpful to very active or impulsive children.
• Remind your child, “I’m helping you learn how to run errands.”

Plan errands and other outings with your child’s needs in mind.

• Sometimes a child should not go with you. Let them stay with a trusted caregiver, if you can, when your child is ill, their meals or naps will be disrupted, or they are likely to feel overwhelmed at the place you are visiting.
• When your child accompanies you, pack wisely. You may need:
  • healthy snacks and drinks
  • comfort items-a blanket, books, or small toys; avoid items such as balls, that easily get away
  • a list of songs your child enjoys
  • learning activity kits 
  • a change of clothes in case of spills or accidents
• Tell your child what to expect. Be brief but clear: “We have two things to do-get groceries and return library books. We’ll be home for lunch.” “After your eye exam, I’ll take you to child care.”
• Let your child make choices: “Will you ride in the cart, or walk by me?” “Do you want to sing a song or listen to music?” “What do you want to see first at the zoo-seals or elephants?”

Prepare yourself.

• Be ready to divide your time between your required tasks and interacting with your children. A few minutes of positive attention can go a long way.
• Avoid rewarding children for good behavior on outings; having a pleasant time is its own reward.  Expectations for rewards can lead to frustration. 
• Ask the pediatrician about motion sickness strategies if your child often complains of stomach upset, headache, or unusual tiredness when traveling.

IEL Resource

Resource List

• Toddlers and Tantrums